Promise Of Hope

In the beginning it starts as a spark.IMG_1517

Then God gives it breath, and your life begins to start.

Treatment is the kindling and the journey begins.

Just give the hope time because your nowhere near the end.

Once you get out the wind starts to blow.

Careful with your tiny fire, you can’t afford to let it go.

You take suggestions hit meetings, and throw on a log.

Remember in the process your still in the fog.

Then hope begins to crackle, and the log begins to smoke.

Careful not to overload let the fire stoke.

Then hope begins to flame, and rage into a fire.

Careful at this point don’t turn to wrong desires.

Give hope time as it started like a spark.

Sobriety like the fire will settle in your heart.

You meet a lot of people and IMG_0602 make a lot of friends.

Then you start to realize, you don’t want the hope to end.

Once the fires blazing you form a bed of coals, and in the process of recovery you start to reach your goals.

The goal of sober living which started as a spark is now warm hope lets keep it in our heart.

Just when we think we’re finished and that our job is done , we should reach into the bed of coals and share it with someone !

 

 

 

Childs Play

So Iam finishing up a huge week with Sunday football and have hunkered down in my basement to decompress after dropping off my daughters . I have had them for a full seven days because their mother had gone out of town. Now you might say ” A whole seven days whats the big deal ? “.IMG_2125 Well I do not have full custody of my girls so a whole week is a bit of a culture shock for me. I stay involved in there life on a daily basis, but its completely different to have them for more then a long weekend now. I knew it was not gonna be a hard week, they are very well behaved and require very little  constant monitoring .IMG_2289Juli is 11 and Lily is 8 they are both great girls involved in sports , dance, and do very well in school. I find that some of the time they are more mature then I am ! So as i drove home the first day with them in the back seat I thought about the week ahead.  I questioned why I was so intimidated by it all. I have had them for long weekends before and not to brag but I am a good father so whats the big deal .The more I thought about it the more I wondered  why i felt this way. I know as humans we start to develop habits after just three weeks so just like anybody else I have grown accustomed to a hybrid parenting lifestyle . This is natural and healthy because it allows us to adjust and change. I say “hybrid “rather then “part time” because once a parent always a parent , and I am always on call and ready to jump into action at any point if I am needed.  The only problem with that is just because your on call you start to develop selfish behavior and we all know to be a good parent we need to be selfless. IMG_1212A good example of what I mean is I had recently started binging on a non PG  Tv series and any other time I would have watched till my heart was content . Not this week it was dinner, homework , and either the news on and some type of kid crafts or a disney movie ! So i found myself pouting a bit at first . So as the days ticked by the question answered its self , I was intimidated because my routine was threatened. It wasn’t because I felt inadequate . I quickly fell into a groove and learned to love living my life around my children again. Once that happened the rest of the week flew by and I was dropping them off and the week that appeared huge was not long enough. I have a tendency to overthink things and if you read my post before this you might understand why . Although my life is different today , I think its still important to question why i feel what i feel. So as I sit here quietly typing this post I still have an ear open for kids playing in the house . I guess old habits die hard ….