Childs Play

So Iam finishing up a huge week with Sunday football and have hunkered down in my basement to decompress after dropping off my daughters . I have had them for a full seven days because their mother had gone out of town. Now you might say ” A whole seven days whats the big deal ? “.IMG_2125 Well I do not have full custody of my girls so a whole week is a bit of a culture shock for me. I stay involved in there life on a daily basis, but its completely different to have them for more then a long weekend now. I knew it was not gonna be a hard week, they are very well behaved and require very little  constant monitoring .IMG_2289Juli is 11 and Lily is 8 they are both great girls involved in sports , dance, and do very well in school. I find that some of the time they are more mature then I am ! So as i drove home the first day with them in the back seat I thought about the week ahead.  I questioned why I was so intimidated by it all. I have had them for long weekends before and not to brag but I am a good father so whats the big deal .The more I thought about it the more I wondered  why i felt this way. I know as humans we start to develop habits after just three weeks so just like anybody else I have grown accustomed to a hybrid parenting lifestyle . This is natural and healthy because it allows us to adjust and change. I say “hybrid “rather then “part time” because once a parent always a parent , and I am always on call and ready to jump into action at any point if I am needed.  The only problem with that is just because your on call you start to develop selfish behavior and we all know to be a good parent we need to be selfless. IMG_1212A good example of what I mean is I had recently started binging on a non PG  Tv series and any other time I would have watched till my heart was content . Not this week it was dinner, homework , and either the news on and some type of kid crafts or a disney movie ! So i found myself pouting a bit at first . So as the days ticked by the question answered its self , I was intimidated because my routine was threatened. It wasn’t because I felt inadequate . I quickly fell into a groove and learned to love living my life around my children again. Once that happened the rest of the week flew by and I was dropping them off and the week that appeared huge was not long enough. I have a tendency to overthink things and if you read my post before this you might understand why . Although my life is different today , I think its still important to question why i feel what i feel. So as I sit here quietly typing this post I still have an ear open for kids playing in the house . I guess old habits die hard ….